honor your wounds.

we tend to walk around these days under the impression that we’re
being ‘real’ or being fully explanatory. when all it can be at times,
really, is another way of covering up. and make no mistake, we’ve all
done it at one point or another. a couple of recent interactions online
that i’ve had with folks have brought that point home. even the more
equipped among us to deal with this stuff will fall into the trap of
hiding your wounds instead of honoring them. you read that right.

honor your wounds.

if you’ve been reading this blog, you know that to a certain degree,
i’ve been sharing more about myself. not just the poetry and prose
that puts me and my thoughts in a rosy light. i’m at the point where
i have begun to view myself in totality. i’m not looking only at the
regrets, or the triumphs. i’m looking back over everything. to quote
Kanye West, ‘everything i’m not made me everything i am.’ and that
includes the scars.

honor your wounds.

the greatest fallacy one can entertain is that of believing that
their joys and successes can come without hardship or the deep
acknowledgment of it. people can’t enjoy the mountaintop without
respecting the climb. no matter what it is. when i went through my
downward spiral, i was stuck in remembering the mistakes i made,
the words i cast out in anger and hurt and all of those things
said and done to me. and my own self-inflicted wounds. i focused
more on that, than anything else. i chose to obsess over them,
rather than take them for what they were: battle wounds. anyone
who is going to fight the good fight, and fight well to be well
and help others be well, is going to obtain quite a few of them.
honor those scars. respect the fact that you have them. and that
they’ve made you wise, even if you wish you were never in a position
to get them in the first place.

honor your wounds.

i’m not saying that one should dwell on their scars heavily – too
much of that, like anything, leads you away from the true purpose
of things. and it also blinds you to the power that you have to avoid
gaining more scars than you need to. for some of us, that’s a difficult
thing to do. we’ve gotten too accustomed to playing up our cynicisms,
being snarky in the guise of ‘truth telling’. making statements like
‘f*** my life’ when we really don’t want that to happen. and all that
does is band us together on flimsy pretenses that melt away like
toppled ice cream cones on a summer sidewalk when things get real.
respect and understand how you got your scars, but never let them
have the power of negativity and impeding your progress and vision.

honor your wounds.

even if they hurt still. even if they keep you up at night. honor them,
then keep moving forward. because as horrid as they may be, as
hurtful as they may have been, they are now a part of you. they are,
as Rumi says, the portals to which light can enter more freely into
you. honor your wounds so that the light can burn away the anguish
and reluctance.

as always, thank you for reading and being attentive. until
the next time, walk good.

open hydrant

this is what
love can look like
in the frame of a New York summer;
bare shoulders and tender calves
that a sundress allows you to kiss,
air so warm and thick
like molasses with rock salt.
piragua carts and Mister Softee
add to the day’s mixtape
out of souped up cars
as folks stew on sidewalks and street corners.
paper plates spotted with oil
from a slice
and that open hydrant
that keeps on flowing
just like young hearts do
waiting for that evening breeze.

10.4.11