breathing after a hard rain

photo-sep-14-6-31-17-pm

when i breathe
during the time of the hard and heavy clouds
the cracks
spiderwebs of tears silent and stifled
bitter words and glances
spring up along the skin
straining, hurting to fly forth
breathing
during a hard rain
brings forth all pain borrowed and earned

breathing during a hard rain
taking time to glue pieces back together
to let some pieces stay adrift
thinking maybe you’ll see them last before you pass on
it isn’t like summer camp
where popsicle sticks seemed to be the strongest thing
in the world
homes fall, families splinter
and you are are all specks of sand on malicious winds

breathing during a hard rain
until you return to yourself
on a drumbeat that tapers off within your ears
but crowds out the doubts and regrets
that persist like morphine drips
the petrichor tells you, “enough”
the rainbow sign tells you, you are more than enough
and the spiderweb ceases to hurt for now
and you

you journey on.

 

Advertisements

head rush at 2:45 a.m.

b47ef725d3b5161d5a044c526de553a2695922f8_m

asking what composes
the music of my post-midnight madness has been
the past week and a half
is akin to attempting to play a trumpet
underwater

i suppose
it’s all the times that i should’ve listened
to my fears in the past
walking back and gripping my shoulders
like relatives who’ve traveled many miles

the blood is sensitive
singing underneath my skin
like altos in Sunday choirs with no fans
and you wonder where sleep is to be found
as minutes drag the sunrise from its bed

asking what anxiety
comes before one sleeps
is to shine a mirror into the corners of your spirit
untouched
hoping that you can meet the gaze