neon lotus heartsong

while a rapper rides a trend
like jeans on the hips of a teen girl
who moves with the weight of the Kryptonite
swelled beyond her years
i see dudes dismantle their cool
with the speed of a limp noodle

i am armed with the daggers
dipped in the blood of habu and stardust from when i was 12
afford me
cynicism is cheap and easy
like that first loosie

‘how does affection taste
to the bitter’ is what my eyes ask her
she wants to be a cookie-styled cutter
but her last relationship got cancelled;
low ratings don’t only destroy television shows

and me
i’m sitting here wondering
what her heart would look like
if she chose me to open it even partially
maybe it would be exquisite

like a neon lotus in the distance

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above the haze level.

this is a heady time of year for me. yeah, spring is upon us and
all of the promises of warmth, sunshine and longer days sit right
outside and are as sure as those cuttings of the last cold snaps
of winter that accompany sunsets during this time. that glimpse
of warmth, which we all reach for, cuts away certain things. but
only for a minute, if you’re not careful. because that cold, that
heaviness, that haze level? gets harder.

right now, i’m working on article pitches, blog posts, research
for other projects and in my own way getting above that haze level.
for those of you who’ve read my work and other writing on this blog,
you’re aware of my own thoughts and situations and struggles to this
end. for those not acquainted…go back and catch up.(haha.)but
seriously…it’s been slightly crazy. the weather doesn’t help. but,
i spoke of the haze level. i take that reference from a Norman Vincent
Peale booklet on overcoming problems and troubles. it’s part of the
arsenal towards healing and self-actualization i’ve drawn from over
the past few years. that book was given to me by my mother during a
gloomy moment, and that lesson about getting above the haze level
was and is still important. because it allowed me to realize just
how i can cloud my own path in addition to letting others leave a
fog over it as well.

think about fog: it’s alluring, mysterious. you can lose yourself
in it and feel a slight bit of serenity. but before long, you can
also find yourself swept away in it, unable to see. and i know that
there’s at least one of you who crows to the damn moon and anythinge
else that like Lion-O of the Thundercats, you’ve got ‘sight beyond
sight’ at all times. but the truth is, you really don’t – until you
come to grips with the fact that you won’t be able to see everything
all the time until you make adjustments. pilots, when they fly and
encounter turbulence or other inclement weather, rise above it into
the atmosphere. at times, we gotta do that no matter what. even if
doing so leaves us out of touch with people we care about. even if
we don’t have the strength to do so or believe we don’t. even now,
you or someone you know is going through that haze level right now
and don’t see a way past it immediately. for me, i know how it can
get cloudy around me. i know some of the triggers to bring those
clouds up, and those i don’t know i’m learning about. but to that
end, i know how to rise above it, or if i can’t do that with some
immediate speed, how to make moves towards doing so as soon as possible.

i’m writing this tonight to get you thinking about that as the seasons
change, and we get so caught up in the fleeting sun that we can’t see
the clouds forming a mass in our way or get past it, that the haze
level can never really go away, but we can get beyond it. if there
is someone you know dealing with that, or if you’ve been feeling like
that, i hope you’ll rise above it.

as always, thanks for reading. until the next time, walk good.